Keep Your Stupid Away From Her!

Lemon Bars - baked by - none other than - my husband.

And they are delicious!  It’s the first time - in all these years - that I’ve witnessed this talent my hubby’s been keeping secret.  And I’m so proud of him!  Maybe I’ll feel better about baking for the holidays next year.  And he won’t be able to just - sit in his recliner waiting for the timer to go off!

I have not done any holiday baking this year.  I dunno.  I wake up each day right now and follow through with tasks no differently than - going grocery shopping.

I can’t get excited.  I do good to just - take care of things.  It’s like being a robot.

It’s like being on anti-depressants - without taking that pill.  But - there’s one difference.  I have no qualms about opening my mouth to cut throats of morons with my tongue.

I'm going through a period in my life where too many people - and doctors - have become too lazy - too quick to consider my situation as being depression.

That jagged little pill has become too much of a crutch for this world - enabling the world to ignore and move on with its own self-absorbed amenities.

What those pills do is - cruel.  They are a silent message.  “ Take the pill - go sit in the corner and shut up.”

They leave one with all the problems - stuffed inside.  Too rummy in the mind.  They just float through tasks - almost mindless - like a robot.

Nothing gets fixed - other than the world being able to avoid becoming uncomfortable by having to face their part in the demise.

I am - so over with existing around - stupid - lazy - selfish - mean - mentality and behaviors running all over this world like children gone wild. 

However - rather than allow this world to merely shove a pill at me and have me go sit in a corner and shut up - I’ve been very busy.

Sorting thoughts while taking steps to find my own plateau of deserved comfort and happiness - quite a perplexing list of details in the efforts.  Of course - half that work comes at the assistance of a much-appreciated therapist.

My goal - clean house to make room for allowing myself to feel my once-happy spirit return.

In the meantime - I’m removing myself from areas where I’m prone to destruction - isolating myself - while God and I - fix me.

Afterall - nobody else is gonna do it.

Still - there are times that require mingling in the presence of morons that were never raised with being taught how to behave properly in public - never taught how to co-exist with others on common ground loaded with consideration and conscience.

And I'm at a place where I - simply - have no problem " telling 'em how the cow ate the cabbage " when they choose to behave like a jerk around me - or - toward me.

It's a new place for me.

I've spent 51 years submitting to any - and all - abuse that has ever been bestowed upon me - by those closest to me - and others of this world.  And for the first time in my life - I've decided.

I don't have to feel like I deserve the cruelty.  I don't have to suck it up and take the beatings without a peep.  I don't have to hold all the pain inside.  I don't have to feel guilty about refusing to accept it.

And God have mercy on anyone daring to force me.  I have nothing nice in return.  You will face the wrath of your own attack.  And I don't have to feel guilty about fighting back.

I will put you back in your place.  And it wouldn't even matter if you were the Pope, himself.

The good in that is - I can say that I'm willing to put myself to the task.

There are those who could do the same - should do the same - but don’t - and - won’t.

I learned two things this week during all my work.

I really do deserve respect.

And -

I'm not alone - despite being considered an outcast by those from my childhood.

I really do have family - right here at the house - some with feathers or four legs.