Zucker owns his space - no matter where he rests his furry butt!
Can you believe this? Those feet are locked into the side of that recliner as tight as a baby gate. And Daddy’s trapped underneath!
One of the cautions every owner of a Basset Hound has to keep an eye on. Carlie’s ears are so long that she averages fighting with almost 3 inches of her ears when she eats and drinks. We go through a lot of paper towels around here. ( The compost worms are gonna love her. )
We’ve gone from snow to mud around here - just like so many other folks around the country. But I just took some gorgeous photos that I’ll share tomorrow. I just love sunshine beating up against a lifting fog - especially this time of year!
I have a list of things I’m doing for myself within the next few months. Carlie gets taken in to be spayed before taking care of Item #3. That one should be quite interesting. Timing is going to be an issue that I’ve decided to resolve with only one possible remedy - good pain pills - really good ones. I’ll be going in to get a brand new smile - right in the middle of garden prepping and planting.
Had no choice with timing. Had to wait for Benefits to finish up with their new hoop they threw at us all this year. " But it looks good - don't it ! "
I have concluded - with determination - both will be taken care of - one way or another - pain pills - or - lots of Kahlua - Crown Royal - whatever! I promise - if I’m pushed into reaching for the latter as a last resort - there will be pictures. I’ve never planted a garden while I was drunk. Could be fun!
Item #4 will occur on its own - with some additional help for the mere purpose of speeding things up - a little. I’ll be shedding my winter coat. Oh wait - let me rephrase that. I’ll be shedding off a layer - of fat. All that winter flab will be coming off. I cannot stand weighing over 122lbs. And I cannot wait until we get all the animals here - to give me loads of exercise year-round. I just may come to like something about winter - after-all !
This is actually Item #2. I could not handle that much gray going on - any longer. It even made me feel 15 years older.
It’s so difficult for me to struggle with trying not to be so critical as I look at these photos. I’m able to see so much more than anyone else. I’m able to see the stress - and all the pain that’s going on inside.
Item #1 on my list began taking place several weeks ago. I may have to give up on others during my life. But - I cannot give up on myself.
I have to wake up with myself - if nobody else - every morning. But even more important - I am blessed to have a wonderful husband - who is here and waking up with me each morning ( when he’s not working graveyard shift, anyway ! ). And - he’s pretty wonderful - for a guy! He makes it even more important that I do what I must - to find a way to grasp my life. And so - I’m back in counseling.
In the middle of being left to feel that nothing positive I ever did for my children or any other loved ones was right - or - enough - there is one good thing they have no choice but to accept about me.
Whenever I have found myself down to hanging on by only a thread - I reached for God - first. And then - I found a therapist. I’ve never been one to reach for drugs or alchohol.
Considering the hell I’ve been through in my life - and the fact that I’ve never ended up strung out on those two mind-changing chemicals - I find that to be quite a miracle in itself - for a 50-year-old survivor.
I’m just not ready to give up on that kind of an investment. I value my time. And I value whatever labor and effort I put into my life.
Regardless of how much as I may love someone - regardless of whom they may be - it’s time they learn something. Not only do I expect and demand their respect for the same attributes about myself. I have - by far - earned that - and deserve even more.
I will no longer accept anything less. And love has absolutely nothing to do with the choice I’ve had to make. To love someone does not give them the right to take you for granted - take advantage of you - lie to you - nor abuse you - no matter who they may be in your life.
And - especially when they are your children - all you can do is hope that life will drag them through some of the same hell you’ve been through - if that’s what it takes for them to - find and feel true understanding.
Part of their growing up to become adults includes learning how to respect others and do unto others as they would have done unto them. And sometimes - a mother has to continue raising her children - even after they become legal age. And she can raise her children - from miles away - whether they realize it - or not. Whether they care - or not.
These are the things I’m learning in therapy. These are things one can never learn through drugs and alcohol.
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