They say the Knoxville area woke up to temps in the 20’s. There is about a 4-degree variance here in our area. That puts us in the ‘teens’ for this morning.
Yesterday was wild. Waking up to see the sunshine was a surprise after a night loaded with intense rain and winds. But the winds refused to move on up the road. Our power went out around 10:30am. By then - we decided to head to Madisonville and stock up on supplies.
By the time we climbed into the pickup - it was discovered that we had locked all the doors to the house without one of us grabbing house keys. Thank God for garage door remotes - even those with dead batteries. Just one more thing for the list of supplies needed.
Had a doctor’s appointment on Monday. I guess it will take time getting used to having a doctor that actually believes in healing. He refused to give me anti-depressants. My blood-work came back showing no reason for such meds. And I guess he decided it was time to inform me that none of my blood work-ups - ordered by him - have ever come back showing any slightest ‘brain chemical imbalance’. In essence - he agreed that I have been dealt with - by professionals in my past - by having a pill thrown at me to get me out the door - left to deal with something that no pill can fix.
I do not suffer from depression. I am no mental case. I do not have bi-polar tendencies (that one would be for the benefit of three particular grown children - who seem to relish in behaving as children). I merely need to attend counseling for adjustment disorder - brought on by being stuck in the middle of too many situations - catering to everyone else - and putting myself on the very bottom of the list.
In other words - having too much on my plate and being kicked while I’m down.
Actually - my grown children and ex-husband are a huge part of the problem.
Beyond that - My husband’s job comes first. I’m living out in the boonies and only leave the house to go grocery shopping - mostly to extend whatever life may be left in my putt-putt that I refuse to part with because we cannot afford a car note.
This house is never visited by friends or family on a regular basis.
The holidays are the worst - and the loneliest. Have been that way since moving up here in 2001.
Just like this year - for example.
We cannot go home for the holidays because Dwayne has to work December 26th. There is no time for us to go down to Texas and wear ourselves out having to go from county to county - town to town - and house to house - visiting everyone else on my side of the family - because they really feel no need to meet us halfway by having any get-together in one place to visit with us after doing our own part of traveling 1700 miles to be with them.
That simply adds up to only one fact that makes sense - they really couldn’t care less about seeing us - at all.
So - why bother?
Dwayne's mother and stepfather are wonderful about letting us stay with them when we go back home for various reasons. But they live in The Woodlands - in Spring. All my family and friends live down in Galveston County - almost a 2 hour drive just to get down there. To cut down on that driving - we'd have to get a hotel room down in Galveston County. There's just nowhere to stay down there. Nobody has room.
I did not decorate for Thanksgiving. I did not cook for Thanksgiving.
The Christmas decorations and the tree are still packed down in the Basement.
I have not been out to do any Christmas shopping.
I haven’t even looked at any of my holiday recipes for Christmas baking - or any Christmas dinner. Dwayne did manage to get me to load up on ingredients for doing some Christmas baking for the two of us while we were at Wal-Mart yesterday.
All I care to say about that right now is - "The crap's all stacked there in the cabinet. Have at it."
Far cry from the girl who was so pushy about making the popcorn and stringing the popcorn and fresh cranberries for a garland that just had to be put on the Christmas tree.
For now - next thing on my list is to get the laundry done and get my first counseling appointment scheduled.
I hope the counseling sessions will help me sort all this out so I can breathe and move on with a freshness in my life.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Christmas? It's Down in The Basement.
They say the Knoxville area woke up to temps in the 20’s. There is about a 4-degree variance here in our area. That puts us in the ‘teens’ for this morning.
Yesterday was wild. Waking up to see the sunshine was a surprise after a night loaded with intense rain and winds. But the winds refused to move on up the road. Our power went out around 10:30am. By then - we decided to head to Madisonville and stock up on supplies.
By the time we climbed into the pickup - it was discovered that we had locked all the doors to the house without one of us grabbing house keys. Thank God for garage door remotes - even those with dead batteries. Just one more thing for the list of supplies needed.
Had a doctor’s appointment on Monday. I guess it will take time getting used to having a doctor that actually believes in healing. He refused to give me anti-depressants. My blood-work came back showing no reason for such meds. And I guess he decided it was time to inform me that none of my blood work-ups - ordered by him - have ever come back showing any slightest ‘brain chemical imbalance’. In essence - he agreed that I have been dealt with - by professionals in my past - by having a pill thrown at me to get me out the door - left to deal with something that no pill can fix.
I do not suffer from depression. I am no mental case. I do not have bi-polar tendencies (that one would be for the benefit of three particular grown children - who seem to relish in behaving as children). I merely need to attend counseling for adjustment disorder - brought on by being stuck in the middle of too many situations - catering to everyone else - and putting myself on the very bottom of the list.
In other words - having too much on my plate and being kicked while I’m down.
Actually - my grown children and ex-husband are a huge part of the problem.
Beyond that - My husband’s job comes first. I’m living out in the boonies and only leave the house to go grocery shopping - mostly to extend whatever life may be left in my putt-putt that I refuse to part with because we cannot afford a car note.
This house is never visited by friends or family on a regular basis.
The holidays are the worst - and the loneliest. Have been that way since moving up here in 2001.
Just like this year - for example.
We cannot go home for the holidays because Dwayne has to work December 26th. There is no time for us to go down to Texas and wear ourselves out having to go from county to county - town to town - and house to house - visiting everyone else on my side of the family - because they really feel no need to meet us halfway by having any get-together in one place to visit with us after doing our own part of traveling 1700 miles to be with them.
That simply adds up to only one fact that makes sense - they really couldn’t care less about seeing us - at all.
So - why bother?
Dwayne's mother and stepfather are wonderful about letting us stay with them when we go back home for various reasons. But they live in The Woodlands - in Spring. All my family and friends live down in Galveston County - almost a 2 hour drive just to get down there. To cut down on that driving - we'd have to get a hotel room down in Galveston County. There's just nowhere to stay down there. Nobody has room.
I did not decorate for Thanksgiving. I did not cook for Thanksgiving.
The Christmas decorations and the tree are still packed down in the Basement.
I have not been out to do any Christmas shopping.
I haven’t even looked at any of my holiday recipes for Christmas baking - or any Christmas dinner. Dwayne did manage to get me to load up on ingredients for doing some Christmas baking for the two of us while we were at Wal-Mart yesterday.
All I care to say about that right now is - "The crap's all stacked there in the cabinet. Have at it."
Far cry from the girl who was so pushy about making the popcorn and stringing the popcorn and fresh cranberries for a garland that just had to be put on the Christmas tree.
For now - next thing on my list is to get the laundry done and get my first counseling appointment scheduled.
I hope the counseling sessions will help me sort all this out so I can breathe and move on with a freshness in my life.
Yesterday was wild. Waking up to see the sunshine was a surprise after a night loaded with intense rain and winds. But the winds refused to move on up the road. Our power went out around 10:30am. By then - we decided to head to Madisonville and stock up on supplies.
By the time we climbed into the pickup - it was discovered that we had locked all the doors to the house without one of us grabbing house keys. Thank God for garage door remotes - even those with dead batteries. Just one more thing for the list of supplies needed.
Had a doctor’s appointment on Monday. I guess it will take time getting used to having a doctor that actually believes in healing. He refused to give me anti-depressants. My blood-work came back showing no reason for such meds. And I guess he decided it was time to inform me that none of my blood work-ups - ordered by him - have ever come back showing any slightest ‘brain chemical imbalance’. In essence - he agreed that I have been dealt with - by professionals in my past - by having a pill thrown at me to get me out the door - left to deal with something that no pill can fix.
I do not suffer from depression. I am no mental case. I do not have bi-polar tendencies (that one would be for the benefit of three particular grown children - who seem to relish in behaving as children). I merely need to attend counseling for adjustment disorder - brought on by being stuck in the middle of too many situations - catering to everyone else - and putting myself on the very bottom of the list.
In other words - having too much on my plate and being kicked while I’m down.
Actually - my grown children and ex-husband are a huge part of the problem.
Beyond that - My husband’s job comes first. I’m living out in the boonies and only leave the house to go grocery shopping - mostly to extend whatever life may be left in my putt-putt that I refuse to part with because we cannot afford a car note.
This house is never visited by friends or family on a regular basis.
The holidays are the worst - and the loneliest. Have been that way since moving up here in 2001.
Just like this year - for example.
We cannot go home for the holidays because Dwayne has to work December 26th. There is no time for us to go down to Texas and wear ourselves out having to go from county to county - town to town - and house to house - visiting everyone else on my side of the family - because they really feel no need to meet us halfway by having any get-together in one place to visit with us after doing our own part of traveling 1700 miles to be with them.
That simply adds up to only one fact that makes sense - they really couldn’t care less about seeing us - at all.
So - why bother?
Dwayne's mother and stepfather are wonderful about letting us stay with them when we go back home for various reasons. But they live in The Woodlands - in Spring. All my family and friends live down in Galveston County - almost a 2 hour drive just to get down there. To cut down on that driving - we'd have to get a hotel room down in Galveston County. There's just nowhere to stay down there. Nobody has room.
I did not decorate for Thanksgiving. I did not cook for Thanksgiving.
The Christmas decorations and the tree are still packed down in the Basement.
I have not been out to do any Christmas shopping.
I haven’t even looked at any of my holiday recipes for Christmas baking - or any Christmas dinner. Dwayne did manage to get me to load up on ingredients for doing some Christmas baking for the two of us while we were at Wal-Mart yesterday.
All I care to say about that right now is - "The crap's all stacked there in the cabinet. Have at it."
Far cry from the girl who was so pushy about making the popcorn and stringing the popcorn and fresh cranberries for a garland that just had to be put on the Christmas tree.
For now - next thing on my list is to get the laundry done and get my first counseling appointment scheduled.
I hope the counseling sessions will help me sort all this out so I can breathe and move on with a freshness in my life.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment