Changing Names and Faces

( One of my Stella D' Oro Lillies ! )


When I go back and examine the last two postings I left - I see a fact that many psychologists have concluded about behaviors in families.

“ History repeats itself. ”

Ever hear that one?  Most psychologists claim generations in families tend to follow suit in behaviors - or - events.  Different circumstances - different parties going through their own responses to their own circumstances - yet - both share experiencing the same effects - one way or another.

( My Scented Geranium - mmmmm... lemon!! )

Such is the case with my mother - myself - and most likely - my own children.

( My Texas Tarragon is starting to bloom.  That's when it's time to start cutting for use in cooking! )

Why?  Rather than working together to break the cycle - arguments will ensue.

“ You say this - but - what about when (this happened to me)… you did/didn’t… ”

( My red Pentas ! )

Each tends to jump into defense mode to subside their own feelings of guilt - when the truth is - none of them should feel guilt - period - unless they choose to sit on their own side of the fence - guarding their own garbage.

Well… that is what they’re guarding!  If it’s not bringing peace and happiness - obviously - it can only be garbage.  Hello!!  You don’t water flowers with sand - right?

And that's why I've spent so many years just - holding so much inside.  Within my family - I have found it is simply impossible to have hypothetical discussions with anyone.

( My first Echinacea - Dwayne planted it for me and I dunno what he did with the tag.  I don't know its name! )

Try using any event/incident for a mere example.  Next thing you know - the fur balls are flying over that particular incident. And it could have been something that happened - decades ago! And the wrongful party would already have apologized - maybe even more than once!!!

( The next attack - weeds are already growing bold. )

I can say all this - because - I know this cannot be happening in only our family!

I mean - seriously! Can you change faces and names and say - "Oh, my God!" ???

Can I get an " Amen " ??!!

( The azaleas are blooming !  But the little white one will have to be moved.  It's not getting any sun anymore - since moving the landing. )

They would even last beyond the point of somebody walking out the door - or hanging up the phone - and choosing to go off into the wild blue yonder being pissed about that - again - for days - weeks - months - even years!

( I can't wait until this this grows and spreads in this pot! )

The hardest part to fixing the mess and breaking the cycle is - everybody has to - truly want for themselves - to find the peace and happiness - enough to step up to the plate on their own accord - and meet in the middle for discussion - until resolve is in the hands of all concerned.

And that’s when the negative cycles in families begin to die.